Wedding invitation wording for a Filipino wedding
Wedding invitation wording gets treated as a question about elegance and it is almost always a question about family. The date and the venue write themselves. The host line, the one naming who is doing the inviting, is where couples get stuck, because that single sentence has to be true about parents, stepparents and anyone who is no longer here.
Wording and detailsReviewed 6 min read
The four parts of any invitation
A host line saying who invites, a request line saying what for, the couple's names, and the details: date, time, church and reception. Everything else, the poetry, the scripture, the attire note, is optional. Those four in that order are what makes it an invitation rather than an announcement.
- The host line
- Who is inviting. Traditionally the parents; increasingly the couple, together with their parents.
- The request line
- Request the honour of your presence for a church ceremony, the pleasure of your company for everywhere else.
- The names
- Full names for a formal invitation, first names for a warmer one. Consistent between the two of you either way.
- The details
- Day, date, time, church, then the reception. In that order, because that is the order guests need them.
The honour and pleasure distinction is a genuine convention rather than a fussy one: honour of your presence for a religious ceremony, pleasure of your company for a reception or a civil rite. Nobody will correct you, but the older guests will notice it is right.
The host line, and the shapes it takes
Four common shapes: both sets of parents inviting, the couple inviting together with their parents, the couple inviting alone, or one family hosting. The most used version in the Philippines now is the second, because it names the parents without pretending the couple are not adults paying for most of it.
| Situation | Wording |
|---|---|
| Both sets of parents host | Mr and Mrs Reyes and Mr and Mrs Santos request the honour of your presence |
| The couple, with parents named | Together with their parents, Andrea and Miguel invite you to their wedding |
| The couple alone | Andrea and Miguel request the honour of your presence at their wedding |
| One family hosting | Mr and Mrs Reyes request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter |
Pick one and use it consistently across the invitation, any printed card and the reception signage. A guest who reads two different host lines assumes one of them is a mistake, and will usually mention it to somebody.
When the family is not a simple sentence
Divorced or separated parents, stepparents, a parent who raised you who is not a parent on paper. The rule that works is to write the sentence that is true rather than the one that is neat, and to ask each side how they would like to be named before you decide for them.
- Separated parents who are both hosting: two separate lines, mother's line first, no ampersand joining them
- A stepparent who raised you: name them, in the way your family already refers to them
- A parent you are not close to: leaving the host line as the couple's own is a complete answer
- A parent who has remarried: their spouse's name goes with theirs if that is the household
- Grandparents who raised you: together with her grandparents works and is not unusual here
One thing not to do
Do not solve a difficult family situation by removing everybody, hoping nobody notices. An invitation that names no parents at all in a Filipino family reads as a statement, and it will be read as one by every person you were trying not to upset.
Naming a parent who has passed
You can, and plenty of families do. There is no single convention: some add the late before the name, some place a small marker beside it, some write a separate line further down, and some prefer not to name them on the invitation at all. All four are correct.
What matters is that the choice belongs to the family whose parent it is, and that it is made in their words. Handing somebody a list of formats to pick from at that moment is not helpful, and neither is deciding for them because one option lays out better.
- Named with the others
- The late Ramon Reyes and Cristina Reyes, listed in the ordinary place with the ordinary type.
- A separate line
- In loving memory of her father, Ramon Reyes, placed under the host line rather than inside it.
- A quiet marker
- A small symbol beside the name, explained nowhere, understood by everybody who needs to.
- Not on the invitation
- A completely legitimate choice, and often the right one when the loss is recent.
If a parent is no longer with you, we will name them wherever you want them named, in whatever words your family uses for it. It is not a design decision.
Would you rather hand it over?
The details underneath, and the order to put them in
Day and date first, then the ceremony time and church, then the reception with its own time and venue. Guests read in that order because that is the order they need to make decisions: whether they are free, whether they can get there, and how long the day will be.
- 01The day of the week, then the date. Guests check the day before the date
- 02The ceremony time, and the church with its city
- 03The reception time and venue, especially if it is somewhere else
- 04The attire, with a colour rather than a mood
- 05The reply, with a date and a reason for it
The details people most often leave off are the end time and anything about parking, and those are the two that generate the most questions afterwards. There is a piece on exactly which details guests ask about.
Filipino conventions worth keeping
Three: the honour and pleasure distinction, naming the principal sponsors on the invitation rather than only on the day, and writing the church's full parish name. All three are things the older half of your guest list reads carefully, and all three cost nothing to get right.
The parish name matters practically as well as formally. Several parishes in the Philippines share a name, and a guest putting Santuario into a maps app without the city will be given a choice of three and pick the wrong one.
The sponsors are the other one. The full entourage list, in the order it will actually walk, is a piece of its own.
Asked about this
How do you word a Filipino wedding invitation?
Four parts in order: a host line saying who invites, a request line, the couple's names, then the details. The most common host line here is together with their parents, followed by the couple's names, which names the parents without overstating who is paying.
What is the difference between honour of your presence and pleasure of your company?
Honour of your presence is for a religious ceremony, pleasure of your company for a reception or a civil rite. Nobody will correct you either way, but the older guests notice when it is right and it costs nothing.
How do you include a deceased parent on a wedding invitation?
Any of four ways: named with the other parents, sometimes preceded by the late; on a separate in loving memory line; marked with a small symbol; or not on the invitation at all. The choice belongs to the family it concerns, in their words.
How do you word an invitation when parents are separated?
Give each parent their own line rather than joining them, with the mother's line first, and no ampersand between them. If either has remarried and that is the household, their spouse's name goes on the same line.
Should the couple or the parents be named as hosts?
Whichever is true. Together with their parents, followed by the couple's names, is the version most Filipino couples use now because it honours the parents without pretending the couple are not adults funding most of the day.
