Despedida invitations, for the party nobody quite wants to hold
Despedida invitations are the only ones on this site for an occasion nobody is entirely glad about. Somebody is leaving, usually for work, usually for years, and the party is both a celebration and a goodbye. The invitation gets easier to write once you stop pretending it is only the first of those.
By occasion5 min read
When to hold it, and when to send the invitation
Hold it seven to ten days before the flight, not the night before. The last few days go to packing, paperwork and immediate family, and a party jammed against departure is exhausting for the person leaving. Send the invitation two to three weeks ahead so people can shift a weekend.
| When | Why |
|---|---|
| 7 to 10 days before the flight | The right window. Room to breathe afterwards |
| 2 to 3 days before | Too close. Packing and nerves take over |
| The night before | Avoid. Somebody always ends up crying at 2am |
| 3 weeks before | Fine, if the date is the only one that works |
The other reason for the ten-day gap is practical. Anything that goes wrong with documents, medicals or a visa tends to surface in the final week, and a party already held is one less thing to reschedule.
How to word it when the occasion is mixed
Name the leaving rather than dancing around it. A despedida for Jomar, before he leaves for Dubai on the fourteenth is warmer than any construction that avoids the word. Guests already know why they are coming, and pretending otherwise makes the invitation feel like it is managing them.
- The straightforward version
- A despedida for Jomar. He flies to Dubai on the fourteenth, so come and eat with us before he goes.
- When it is a family leaving
- The Cruz family are moving to Winnipeg in August. One last long lunch before they do.
- When it is a happy departure
- Lead with the reason. A despedida for Anna, who starts at Toronto General in October.
- When it is not entirely happy
- Keep it short and warm, and say nothing about the reason. Come and see Tito Ben before he flies is enough.
One thing worth leaving off
The return date, unless you are certain of it. Writing back in two years puts a promise on the invitation that the person leaving may not be able to keep, and it is the kind of sentence a family reads again later.
What to put on it that guests will need
Six things: the date and time, the venue with parking, whether it is a full meal, whether children are coming, whether to bring anything, and a reply. Despedidas are often at a house or a rented function room, which means the parking and the food question both need answering properly.
- The venue, with the landmark, because house addresses are the hardest to find
- Whether it is a proper dinner or merienda, so nobody arrives having eaten
- Whether it is bring-something, and if so what is already covered
- Whether children are welcome, since despedidas usually mean whole families
- A reply with a seat count, because a house has a real limit
- Anything the guest of honour would rather not receive as a gift
That last one is specific to a despedida. Somebody about to fly with a luggage allowance does not want anything heavy, and saying so on the invitation saves several people from buying something thoughtful and unshippable.
The part worth collecting on the night
Messages. A despedida is the one occasion where a wall of well wishes is not a nice extra: it is the thing the person leaving reads on the flight and again three months in. Photographs matter too, but the written messages are what people go back to when they are homesick.
Ask for them in writing rather than only in speeches. Half the room will not say anything out loud at a despedida, and the people least likely to make a toast are often the ones with the most to say.
If the invitation itself can hold the messages, they arrive already gathered rather than scattered across a group chat. Ours keep the wishes wall and the photographs on the same link for a year afterwards, which for somebody working abroad is the point of the whole thing.
Would you rather hand it over?
The guests who cannot be in the room
Send the link to them too. A despedida almost always has people missing: cousins already abroad, a sibling on a different shift, the friend who cannot get the day off. They can leave a message on the same page as everybody else, and it costs nothing to include them.
This is the one thing a link does at a despedida that no printed invitation and no dinner reservation can. The person leaving ends up with messages from the room and from the people who could not get to it, in the same place, which is closer to the truth of their life anyway.
A despedida invitation from us is ₱1,499, with the wishes wall and the photo collection on it. Every occasion price sits on one page if you want to compare.
Asked about this
When should a despedida be held?
Seven to ten days before the flight. The final few days go to packing, paperwork and immediate family, and anything that goes wrong with documents tends to surface in that last week. Send the invitation two to three weeks ahead.
How do you word a despedida invitation?
Name the departure plainly. A despedida for Jomar, before he flies to Dubai on the fourteenth, reads warmer than any wording that avoids saying why. Guests already know, and avoiding it makes the invitation feel managed.
What should guests bring to a despedida?
Say on the invitation, and mention the luggage problem. Someone about to fly cannot take anything heavy, so letters, photographs or something small are kinder than a gift they will have to leave behind.
How do I include people who cannot come to the despedida?
Send them the invitation anyway and let them leave a message on it. A despedida always has people missing, usually the ones already abroad, and having their messages beside everyone else's is the closest thing to having them there.
